|Its here...Let the festivities begin my friends|
If I was a hedgehog well here is what I would look like.
Thank you SageHegehog for bringing me to life. :3 muwhahhahahahaha
PLEASE READ THIS VERY CAREFULLY...I probably even contradict myself in spots but I hope I'm being clear here lol.
Okay I got a few things I need to let off my shoulders. This will take a while to explain things and it may be a bit jumbled but I'm trying my best to be clear but I start to ramble too when I explain things.
I know sometimes I get carried away in things... sometimes I either say or do things that are wrong. Here and other places.
I'm going to say to everyone right now...I have a couple factors of things that are wrong with me that cause these issues! No I don't want people feeling sorry for me...I just want everyone to understand that here is some factors on why I say the things I say and do the things I do.
1. I have ADHD! I have trouble focusing on things and concentrating on things a lot of the time. Its frustrating. Makes it extremely difficult to learn things. I'm not book smart at all. I can read but my comprehension problems from this ADHD makes it hard. Even on my favorite things in life like reading documents on these Sonic sites...I have trouble comprehending things I sometimes have to reread things to make sure I understand things right. Its not just one or two documents either...its all of it! Mathematics I can add, subtract, multiply and divide but when you start into advanced fractions...and equations...I'll lose you before you lose me LOL. I had to be grandfathered in Mathematics in school too cause of this ADHD. I also am somewhat dyslexic too. I'll get numbers backwards from time to time lol.
2. I suffer from a severe panic disorder. A lot of days I've been sick and nauseated from it. Most of the problem is caused by my tonsils spreading infection to my ears thus upsetting my balancing causing severe dizziness and nausea. On top of that...the last 5 years of my life have been pretty trying with watching my mother die, a year later had a surprise scare with that appendectomy and then in the late summer of 2012 my gall bladder failure. I've had two brushup with death already. Which can leave your nerves scarred. Plus dealing with local B$ drama being caused by a couple different local people who live in my neighborhood causing me problems. Also family problems, but who doesn't have family problems. Ever hear of the TV show Everybody Loves Raymond? Well its like that but much worse! Total dysfunction and little communication and I'm just as guilty too on that!
3. On top of this panic disorder and the racing thoughts that are also caused by it. I was on a med called Paxil for that panic disorder. Cured the panic disorder while I was taking it but I had to get off of it because it was making me gain weight severely cause it made me eat like a fish and with me being diabetic its not good for me to be heavy set! I was having a hard time keeping my sugar in check too cause that med was causing me to get high spikes and quick harsh low drops to the point I almost faint. Also that med also damaged parts of my mind. I get confused very easily and I also sometimes have trouble talking. I'll start to stutter and/or I won't remember important things real well and I have a very hard time following instructions. I never used to have issues with stuttering and remembering instructions. Even when it comes to explaining things I have to stop so I can collect my thoughts properly. ADHD also plays a role in this too.
4. I also have sleep apnea where I snore alot and that is why my tonsils take a beating too. I was really ill in the late part of July and first part of August. I was so nauseated and dizzy I thought I was going to have to be hospitalized. I had to do self treatments to restore my balancing which they have really helped...I'm moving around better and less nauseated too. I also have been hitting up ginger ale for the nausea too. Tried nausea pills and they make me too damn sleepy LOL.
5. I can't afford doctors and no obama care won't help me. I have to have a full time job for them to even consider helping me in the slightest. Yes I do work. Its a shitty job but aren't they all. I actually do two jobs...computer tech help for myself for locals in my area and also I work for the local fireworks business as their warehouse goon LOL. I AM NOT AND I REPEAT I AM NOT AN EXPERT AT COMPUTERS BY A LONG SHOT okay I'm above average but not an expert...I lack the skills of doing networking and security on a high end and even my web skills are very rusty at the moment too. I want to improve all of that but I keep on putting it on the back burner. In fact I'll go to far as I treat this problem like how our gov't treats problems in america. I've been burying my head in the sand for WAY TO DAMN LONG and that needs to stop!
6. I like many americans didn't take care of myself in my younger days...getting proper sleep, exercise and eating right and I was overweight for many years...I finally got some of my health in order in late 2009 when I got back into Sonic I have to laugh about that cause it sound like irony sorta but ahem anywho I lost the weight but also I was drinking diet green tea like a fish and it had high contents of caffeine in it too and when you combine depression and headaches from drama and everything around you going down the drain slowly its no wonder I'm falling apart like a sack of potatoes LOL. I also back then was too chicken shit to deal with people that were driving me nuts...I let those goons drive me nuts to the point to where this also fits in with the factors of me having my panic disorder.
7. One thing in life I love to laugh about things...I'm a big cross over fanatic when it comes to my favorite things in life...well who isn't right? I love parodies and even to make parodies about things.
I know in recent months the screenshots I've been making parodies over make it look like I'm bashing the absolute hell out of SEGA\Nintendo and even some others. FOLKS THESE ARE JUST JOKES!
Now I'm going to address two smaller things within this part on a couple of things I made snide remarks about a couple of people.
A. Anyone remember Leigh Alexander? I still am not amused about her comments about Sonic fans. Do I hate her? No! Hate is a strong word lol. But I will remain firm about anyone who insults anyone else about being a fan of Sonic! Ya know we all may bitch moan and complain about how bad some Sonic games were made but in reality they are games we've gotten to the point "WE LOVE TO HATE THEM!" cause look at all these fund raisers and charity events that happen in the name of Sonic The Hedgehog! In reality mostly we laugh our @$$es off about the glitches, the issues and what nots. Like at the end of the year with Respawn point...Those guys make me laugh to tears on there.
B. Also Remember the Pendermen? I really don't care what he does...it sounds to me like he's trying to cash in on copyrighted characters which in my realm of thinking um aren't they owned by SEGA? If I got lost in that mix please correct me or if anyone has a court case time line on all that insanity to help me make sure I have my damn facts straight...help this brother out please I know Julie-Su and all his non canon names are all his but the main canon names to me is like asking for a smiting lol.
The images I've let loose and made up about those two are just wise cracks...nothing serious but I'm only sticking up for the fan base here even if they are shitty dry humor.
8. Also for the record...incase any locals in my area figure out who I am on here and start anything on here...contrary to popular rumors...I'm straight OK! I like women but I'm not good at communicating with women either. I suck at that stuff...I'm not good at relationships either cause I'm so used to being alone/loner and doing my own thing that sometimes I come off as a selfish bastard who sits behind a screen all time lol. I apologize if I come off like this. I will not date local women either cause local women are mostly nasty around here. They will sleep with anything that is willing and they hop from one guy to the next and I got some info from one guy that claims that STD's are running amok around here too. I also treat women with respect too not like a rag doll slave either. If that makes me a pussy or pussywhipped SO BE IT! Sometimes subjects come up about jokes about getting laid etc...here and on facebook etc. Especially images regarding Scourge Trust me I just joke around about the subject but in reality I show respect to women. I am not an arrogant @$$ who just hits on everything that walks and looks at women as if they were toys. If I'm an idiot so be it...but one thing in life I don't want is an unhappy relationship or marriage where we'd be cheating on each other cause we're not happy. I had do deal with that kind of thing growing up and it wasn't pleasant and it got ugly and heated at times and when your a child that doesn't understand that stuff and see fighting amongst your parents...it also leaves scars on you. I see so much of that going on today and that's not a good thing. Having morals does mean something folks I won't lie to you about that! SIDE NOTE: I'm also not one for webcam sessions cause my sister and my father since I live with them both in this small house...they are nosy and always questioning what I'm doing cause they have unhappy lives and they don't like seeing me happy and like to criticize people. I love my dad and sister but I don't like their nosiness. I would tell them this but they'd just raise hell with me and it would just lead to more drama so I don't talk about it to them.
9. This next subject is a touchy one so let me say sorry if this pisses people off but SORRY I DO NOT LIKE DRUGS such as everyone's favorite Mary Jane Wannah If I need a buzz trust me let me put down two miller lites and I'll become George Carlin in no time okay plus I'm stupid enough...why do I want to be stupider? Let me explain a little why I don't like all this stuff. Hear me out and if ya think I'm an idiot or a dipshit...UNFRIEND ME NOW AND BLOCK MY @$$..I'm not playing games about this subject... Here is an examples....I had to watch my mother die of a disease called Pulmonary Fibrosis...basically I slowly watched my mother suffocate to death cause that disease makes your lungs stop processing oxygen. That shit is scary as hell...not being able to get air! That left me with PTSD(Post Traumatic Stress) and smoking dope! COMPANIES PISS TEST YOU HELLO!!!!! YOUR HOT AND THEY SHIT CAN YOU! NO EXCUSES! Let me say life is hard enough to get through without doing shit that makes it worse. Now if any of you do any of the above mentioned... I don't care I'm not going to lecture anyone about it nor am I going to argue with anyone about it. Everyone is their own boss...everyone does what they like...just remember as from one friend to another if ya wanna have a good life...set goals and seek them out and if you get knocked down...get back up and fight as if your life depended on it. I know that sounds weak coming from me but its honest from me heart.
10. My friends are important as hell to me! This is why I break down if I upset anyone I like love or both. I will ball up into a shell if upset anyone to the point of where they tell me not to talk to them anymore and to go away...so if anyone hates me for what I've said above or on any of my posts on here, facebook twitter etc...I'm sorry if I'm causing offense but trust me I'm more of a caring person that I look and sometimes it does get the better of me and I end up saying stupid shit that just shouldn't say or stick my nose into. Now over the last couple of years with all the damn drama locally I have had to put up with...people who I thought were my local friends where I live a couple of them turned out to be snakes in the grass and only find me good when I am useful. That kind of treatment will also result in me becoming very bitter which I have become very bitter with the locals as of the last year or two. I don't say much to them I just hide away cause it just gives me such a headache to deal with them. So if I annoy anyone on here please just unfriend me and/or block me cause I don't want anyone being driven nuts by me. I unfriended one person because I got a rather harsh response because I wished them a happy birthday. I only had to do that to one person but also there was one other person I blocked here a few days ago and I want to make amends with that person now so I will do that next when I'm done writing this excessively large document about me lol and if you're reading this...I hope I can ask for you're forgiveness. don't worry I'm not mad. I was beside myself I must admit but not mad.
SUMMARY: If anyone thinks I'm being selfish or rude for what I've said in this update I apologize but this is me...I have had to take care of myself mostly and that was the case even growing up cause my father worked and my mother was also working and with her friends all the time too....so everything I get for myself I work my @$$ off for it. Now some things are gifts but they are only like once a year type of things but I also do a return favor of gifts too and I buy gifts too for special occasions. I like to help people out too when they are in need but in recent years in all that I've neglected helping myself too and I'm not getting any younger and by now I should have been married and had kids and a good job but in reality I don't want kids cause of how things are going on this planet. The state of this planet is not good and I see children suffer daily and dying and have to put up with broken homes etc. I also would not make a good parent too because to be honest folks...my mind hasn't really matured past the age of 15. I for my age am too much like a kid I just don't feel I'm capable of handling large responsibilities like most normal adults do...but rest assured I still can be of help in places too. I just like to be an understanding friend and I try to be fun loving too but a lot of times it don't show. I also complain about the locals in my area too...the bad people stick out like sore thumbs and yes there good people in this area too but they are so hidden they're like truffle in the woods when trying to find them lol. In life we all have complaints about things too a lot of things that are wrong in my life won't change until I take the first step in changing them though that I will admit. But I have to start worrying about me though and quit worrying about my family matters. Don't get me wrong as I said in my 10th statement above though...my friends are the most important thing to me in this world...that's why I worship the ground they all walk on and that's why I do things in their honor and no I won't ever use any of their works on here to cash in on it and make myself rich...I wouldn't ever do that even if I were mad at anyone. That's just morally wrong
ANY QUESTIONS? GO AHEAD ASK..I'll answer them I'm not prejudice